Friday, February 20, 2009

My Funny Valentine

So, I’ve done a lot of reading through the years. I’ve read some great books and some not great books. While there is some wonderful information out there, what seems to be missing about the gods/goddesses in general is that they have terrific senses of humor. They are not just funny... seriously, they are freakin’ hilarious. Not that you want to laugh AT them but you should definitely laugh WITH them. And I’m not talking about just the tricksters either, they are all pretty funny.

The worst thing that we can do is take ourselves too seriously. I believe this when people are most likely to make dumb choices. If you get too hung up on yourself, the gods will start poking at you to get you over yourself.

A long time ago (in a place far, far away) I was involved in a Dianic Wiccan coven. The high priestess took herself VERY seriously. We weren’t able to wear certain colors because those were her colors. There were certain types of feathers we couldn’t put on our robes because those birds belonged to her. The worst was the owl. Owls were her totem animal and belonged to her and only her and don’t let her catch you having anything owlish in her circle.

So, the coven had arranged this big midsummer ritual out on a local popular beach and had even managed to get some press for it. We were going out there to put on a show for the public. We had a great spot on the beach (under a grove of trees) and we were all dressed up in our witchy finest and all was going well…until about halfway through the ritual when an enormous owl took a major shit on her head. Oh. My. Gods. I almost peed myself trying not to laugh (I was new to the game and was trying not to get thrown out of the circle).

The high priestess tried to play it off while explaining it was good luck when an animal relieved themselves on you. Really? Good luck? If my totem animal took a gigantic crap on me I would have to re-evaluate my lifestyle and immediately start making amends for whatever I did to piss off the universe.

Bless her heart, she finished the ritual with this disgusting bird crap dripping off of her crown. Thank gods it was dark and a large circle and nobody could see me crying from holding back the giggles.

Sometimes, the gods will send messages in funny ways or the message itself will be funny.

A few months ago, one of my priestesses had just had Baron Samedi show up in her life. He was sending her a lot of weird dreams and I was starting to get used to the frequent phone calls to decode them. One night she called in a panic, wanting to know what connection the Baron had to bologna. “Bologna? What on earth are you talking about? I’ve never heard of a connection…Why?” I asked. She then begins to tell me about this dream she had where the Baron had hid some bologna in her bedroom and she was running around frantic trying to find it.

I started laughing really hard and the more she tried to explain the harder I laughed. Finally, she stopped and demanded that I tell her what was so funny. I said “You know like hide the sausage…the Baron was playing hide the bologna with you in your bedroom.” She started to laugh, too. My guess was that she was probably needing a piece of bologna in her life.