Sunday, March 21, 2010

Hunt for the Alarm Clock Bird

Everyone has an arch nemesis; a mortal enemy if you will. James Bond had Dr. No, Superman had Lex Luthor, SpongeBob has Plankton and my husband has the alarm clock bird.

My husband (let's call him Greg) has many names for the alarm clock bird ("ACB") and most of them are not repeatable. Two years ago, we moved from the front of our apartment complex to the back. We needed a larger apartment and we were tired of being next door to the pool. For the most part, this side of the complex is quieter, except for the ACB.

The alarm clock bird wakes up at dawn every single morning and has a high-pitched call that consists of a series of three loud notes in rapid succession. Apparently the ACB's call is at the exact pitch and timbre to drill directly into Greg's brain and wake him up instantly, pissing him off to no end.

Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, my husband loves all animals and nature and he is not a violent guy however he has put out a hit on the ACB. He promised our cat the large can of t-u-n-a if he killed the alarm clock bird. The cat has so far not been interested in the deal so my husband suspects the cat may now be working as a double agent. Perhaps the ACB is a nip dealer on the side.

Anyway, Greg has been trying to figure out what species this bird belongs to (although he was almost certain the genus name started with the f-word) and we may finally have an answer. Greg caught site of an LBB (Little Brown Bird) the other day and after some investigation, the alarm clock bird maybe a Carolina Wren. Now that he knows what he is up against, he might finally be able kill the little bastard and get some sleep.